In-between

Without exception, every woman in this world who ever wanted to grow out her short hair landed in this particular situation, one that is truly problematic and discouraging; one that, sadly, can never be entirely avoided: this situation is none other than the detestable moment her hair reaches the mid-length level, only timidly touching her shoulders. At this point, it is neither amusing nor very practical to style: the hair is not short anymore but it is positively not long enough either. Being stuck in-between; the woman sighs, and comes to realize that she will spend the next couple of months facing quite an unpleasant music.

Dealing with it becomes a daily fight: she tries to come up with tricks that will put that flyaway hair into some sort of order. She seeks advice from hairstylists and also searches for “How to” articles in order to find even the slightest satisfactory solution. How she would just love to put that hair in a small ponytail at all times, but having a little tree hanging from the bottom of her head does not always look as cute as it sounds. How does she handle it? How does she get to the next level without the urge of pulling her hair out before? Unless she decides to liberate her anger towards that hair by getting some extensions – which does not necessarily appeal to all women – there is no other solution than to wait for this annoying thing to just grow. She attempts to remain calm and patient… and looks forward to the day she will finally look like a decent, neat human being with long hair again.

In life, we face a lot of situations that are similar to growing out a crop. Being stuck in an in an ugly period of transition equals to times of desperation, times of torture. Undoubtedly, this is definitely not about those in-between times that we consider as well-deserved breaks, for instance like that summer or sabbatical year between High School and University. What is insinuated looks more into those moments we feel a little more restless: being in-between jobs or in-between homes are good portrayals of messy times we are sometimes confronted to. Evidently, in-between circumstances are caused by different factors, whether we provoked them or not. Nevertheless, no matter what we leave behind, let it be good or tragic; and no matter what we are opting for, of course it is a situation that screams ‘for the better’; being in limbo is never a nice place to be: it often just leaves us anxious and frustrated.

Losing a job – and not knowing when exactly we will find another one – is one of the toughest standpoints we must deal with, especially nowadays. Many might find work as soon as they quit the last one, but others collect job ads or accumulate interviews in vain. Looking for a flat during housing crisis is equally exhausting; especially if the one we have ‘in the mean time’ does not come close to what a home should feel like. Like looking at one’s awful mid-length hair in the mirror, waking up clueless to what will happen in the (near) future slowly becomes an unbearable feeling. Then, we tend to hold on to the past – a past that might not have been great, but it was at least stable and safe. Indeed, periods of transition demand more patience and words of encouragement; and we can only pray for the next best thing to happen . How can we deal with it in a more efficient way? How can we get to the next phase without the urge of pulling our hair out before?

One thing that positive (such as holidays) and negative transition phases have in common is that we are well aware of the fact that they are momentary. There is a reason why a break has an expiration date. We are not satisfied with the actual in-between situation and we want to move up to the next level quickly. The only problem we have is that – as it is the same with growing out medium-length hair – we are too impatient to reach that specific goal. This is the reason why ‘now’ makes us cross and makes us curse at the exact same time.

So, instead of moaning and hoping for the next best thing to happen fast, we could learn to use this in-between situation in our favor. It is relevant to keep in mind that life is not a race: things will eventually turn around. And when it is that time at last, we will get into it with loaded guns. There are a lot of ways to make ugly transition phases quite fruitful: we can get another diploma, we can improve our language skills (or even learn a new one), we should be tourists in our own city again, we can take a short (or longer) trip somewhere, we can take dance lessons, and we can start networking more. Indeed, there are endless solutions to make time both pass and worthwhile.

It is said that the richest ornament of a woman is her hair. In hindsight, time is the richest ornament we have in our possession. Thinking about all the different phases we get to live in a lifetime, I have learned that no time is ever wasted – even times we spend in ugly transition. We sigh, we wait. Sadly, we cannot escape from them. But the thing is: it might not fly by, but it will go by. Meanwhile, as stated above, we should make every bit enjoyable. Let us simply look around, and remember how much society and our beautiful earth have to offer.  Now, don’t we have all the time in the world to explore?

One-way street

Over time, it either grows or diminishes,

For Love can never be a constant.

Spring fling

I cannot promise you the world.

But I promise you my world. 

Absolute Power

It is funny how good weather can change everything.

Suddenly, 'having a bad day' seems like an inappropriate statement.

The price of freedom

Five years and two months have gone by and just one reflection nurtures every single morning: “yesterday is today, and today is tomorrow.” What you once called your life, your choices, your plans and your destiny lost their very sincere meanings; as deciding now only belongs to the privileged and you have become subject to the strict lifestyle and schedule forced upon you. There are no fancy surprises anymore, no extraordinary affairs to look forward to. Only the occasional visits, which gradually get to be the highlights of your existence. For you, it is all written in the books. 

Recall the cards you wrongly played -- or even thinking how bad luck stroke and the cards handed to you were just plain unfavorable in the first place. The infamous moment that changed the absolute everything develops into a greater obsession as the clock keeps on ticking and ticking... Talking about regrets only is appropriate to those who get hit with this kind of reality. “What is life?” when you are compelled to the idea that the most precious gift given to humankind was taken away from you: your freedom. Jesus, does anyone ever know what it feels to be trapped until s/he are behind bars? In the absence of something so vital, cherishing it with every breath you take will forge the essence of your being. 

There are no misunderstandings. There are no excuses. Some people deserve what they are in for. (And of course, if that weren’t the case, then it’s not even bad luck. It is just very bad taste.) Meeting someone who is locked up will make you lose control over your emotions. Your heartbeat takes a slower pace, and bit by bit, it breaks down. Your heart is crushed into pieces. And they cut, they sting, they bleed. Immediately, an abundance of questions bring you to a dangerous yet somewhat pure, incorruptible place. Inquisition of fundamental matters, one would say. Does repentance equal to the absence of freedom? When does time stop and simultaneously matter so, so, so much to someone? What is innocence if you cannot ever come out clean? Where is your family when even just looking at their photograph breaks your heart? “What is life” when the light of hope does not even come close to the light of day?

Answers are not impossible, they aren't unsolvable mysteries. It is simply extremely hard to find them. Yet for the first time, questions seem not to require a direct explanation. Truth is: the answers are but overwhelming feelings, naming them near-perfection realities. Weren't they inside all along? 

Someone once said that the people you should love the most are the ones who are less fortunate. You underline that statement when you can seriously consider: Who could ever love a murderer? Who will grant forgiveness to a rapist? Who should even his/her precious time to talk to a smuggler? Who would feel sorry for an innocent man wasting his time imprisoned? Do you believe it is no one else but those who are close to them? It is definitely not the case. I am but a stranger who will look into your eyes, shake your hand, give you a tap on the shoulder. There is a reason why I saw you. But then again, I cannot help but wonder, against all the odds, could it have been that you saw me first? 

I will love you. Forever, until the end.

The expiration date

Everyone has come across this one particular situation. However, you would then agree that no one really gives it much thought until you eventually are bound to let it happen. Curious, aren’t you? Just imagine the following: you open the refrigerator and today, it flashes your mind to check if everything is still in order. So of course it would not be, since you quickly remember that it is about time that you bought a new stash of milk again. “How long has it been since I last drank some?” And there it is, lying there, sobbing in silence: the hopefully-not-yet-rotten carton of milk. Your biggest challenge of the day: it could have been consumed with no rush, slowly, delicately … But how you got it off your mind, for so many different reasons apparently. You search for the expiration date and doubt on whether you should feel lucky or rather displeased by what you see, because you just have enough time to drink it in one go, right before it turns unpleasant. An instant of hesitation as you ask yourself: “Do I chug it?" Yes, undoubtedly, for you do not seek to waste any… And you’ll regret it if you don’t.

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips”

Curious, aren’t you? Why this sudden change of subject and more importantly, what in the world does this quote have anything to do with bad milk? Absolutely everything, actually.

Time had passed since these two souls last locked lips and shared a passionate kiss. Life got in the way, commitments and responsibilities were on the agenda. It was never the right opportunity to dwell on the not-so far away past. Yet as soon as they rekindled, there was no need for big words or long stares to create this fabulous, sincere and powerful, clearly still irrefutable connection between them. This kiss was not sweet; it was the sweetest taste of mango. It was not romantic; it was the romance that could set the world on fire. It was not music; it was the music where one grasps right there and then, what “all that jazz” truly stands for. Simply thinking about this special kiss gives them the shivers. 

When a moment becomes yours. When the outside world stops for you. When you can hold a feeling so tightly in your hands, almost believing that an emotion could suddenly be materialized. It is at times like these when it’s undeniable why desires and passion are worth… everything.

Then again, there’s a little lie in this extremely sensual, last encounter. Curious, aren’t you? The reason why it was never the right hour to dwell on the not-so far away past is because it had come the time to deal with the very-present present. That mind-blowing kiss might not have been their first, but it was certainly approaching their very last. Indeed, it wasn’t that long of a period since these two souls last locked lips and shared a passionate kiss. Only but a few if you measure it in days, but it sure felt like a lifetime seeing what this meeting would mean to them. Everything from the first second they gazed into each other’s eyes until the last instant they exchanged words was enclosed in that kiss. 

“Soul meets soul on lovers’ lips”

You open the refrigerator and you could have a nasty surprise since there is a possibility that you might have exceeded an expiration date. You did not wish for that to happen, but things are the way they are. Only a short span left, you kindly accept the situation and ask yourself: “Do I chug it?” Yes, of course you will, undoubtedly.

And that is exactly how you approach moments such as these, when you have no choice but to bid farewell to someone you truly care about. Curious, aren’t you? You do hesitate. You want out. You only get distant. For the obvious reason that getting to the good-bye scene in such a full blow could actually kill you inside. You try to get it off your mind as hard as you can, but it’s inevitable. The thing is, will there ever be a good timing to say good-bye to someone you love? No one is given a guideline to exactly when and how this is supposed to happen… even when the date is long written on the calendar. So what do you do when the infamous day is near and you just have enough time to make it still pleasant? You chug it, undoubtedly: the heartfelt tears, the hurt, the sadness, the memories, the love… And before you can understand it, amazingly, there can be sweet good-byes, even if there aren’t any smooth tomorrows... You take it all in, you will regret it if you don’t.

”Why have an expiration date when everything seems so right?” Curious, aren’t you? Perhaps it is because this beautiful story was actually never meant to be, for so many various reasons apparently. You do not ever hope for milk to go bad, like you do not choose when and whom you fall in love with. You did not wish for that to happen, but things are the way they are. Milk turns unpleasant, and you grow in love – even how wrong or crazy it is, and even if it narrows down to eventually saying your adieu! Life sometimes leads you to very unpredictable, uncontrollable situations, and you will always end up wondering why there is something called choice and another named destiny. Truth is, both meet halfway when good-byes knock at your door. And you do the best within what’s in your power. Maybe you’ll look back and your adventure will seem surreal. Maybe you’ll want to reconcile with why-oh-why you invested in something… someone, when you knew since second one that it could not lead you anywhere but here?

But then, you’ll come to realize that the very unforgettable kiss, the memorable rainbow, the way the clouds moved – so gracefully felt, shared, absorbed, was yours until the end of time. And doesn’t that, in all fairness, somehow make it the very first kiss? Untouchable.

Singer Raul Midon trusts that “expressions of love, [we] can’t deny [them], even when we say good-bye.” Not so curious anymore, are you? It is at times like these when it’s undeniable why more than desires and passion, falling in love was worth… everything.