Plus/Minus

To love is to add. But to not love is not to subtract.

Young heart

(PART I)

My heart aged quickly
Much faster
Than my face lets to see.
Pumped with deceit
By things and many
Stabbed and asked to heal
Perpetually.
If there is such a power
As to completely recover
A lesson I never learned;
Because regardless
Of how well it survived,
The finishing line
A heart in pieces
Already from the start.
Back to square one
The heart has won
Matured a couple of years
A thousand with every tear.
The heart grows older
Each time it starts over
Getting wrinkles
That no night cream
Can meddle;
I move with a cane
Taken the ability
To love without restrain.

(PART II)

But every time
I am done
I bethink myself of
The time I was young
When I believed
Without seeing
When I knew
Only by imagining.
With every life experience

The heart has catered

Faith

Always seems
To pull me back in
And this ancient heart
Runs back to that route
On the verge of innocence
When the heart's skin
Was still so thin;
Not hardened
Nor overshadowed
And eyes still sparkling.
I do not mind getting older
As long as I get wiser
And the lesson
Withstanding alone;
With every heartache
A heart doubling its age
The heart that still tries
This heart that is willing
To always begin a new life
Is twelve years old again.
And when my body
Will slow down
And my hair
Is no longer brown
I will love as long as I live
Leaving behind what outlives;
For nothing is as hard
Nothing more enriching
Than staying young at heart.

In your control

Choice is giving Destiny a little push.

One instant

Sitting opposite me

Scarce meters away

But what an army

Standing in the way

The tram curves

The mirror of a smirk

A flustered one I observe

And gone are all my irks

Here where all descend

I will be the next

We have just one instant

To find a pretext

I make my way home

Why nothing else, I exhale

Suddenly I turn to stone

As I hear you blurt out hey

The answer

Sometimes, you have to get out of your way to find a way.

Schizophrenic

You have been so schizophrenic

Your mood more than erratic

One moment, I am burning under the sun

The next, contemplating why I am frozen 

Even in one day

You go a thousand ways 

Can you not just sit tight

No matter what you decide

Plan to stick around

 Not continuously on a rebound

How wearisome to keep up with

A mind that changes every minute

Oblivious on what to expect

 Terrified to end with regrets

When all I am asking

Is if I need better preparing

Because it is alright if there is a storm

But pretty please, I must have you perform. 

Just like that

And all of a sudden

I am twenty-two again

Transported to a time

When I had no idea

What I was doing

Incessantly figuring out

Where my life was going.

In that state of in-between

It was only in the time being

Prompt to recreate

Get myself to think straight

And once I was ready

I would leave this phase

Desist from meandering

Find a way back to the race.
Never would I have imagined
Just like that
A mundane monday night

The second I caught you
You glancing at me
I knew on the spot
That nothing will ever be
The same again for me.
Complex enough as it were

You had to mess with my scheme

Had to worm your way into

My heart, thinking for two.

Long I had thought
How jarring it was

The worst timing of all

A year to take care of myself
And I did not comprehend
How any of this could help.
But that special spot you held
Now looking back
In hindsight
Glad I took the chance
You were probably the best thing
That could ever happen
You loved me at my worst
Already then saw in me
What I always wanted to be.
Fast-forward to the present
Five years later
Five years of rigor
Meanwhile
Creating the me
The one you were certain
I was one day going to be

Now on other sides
Living parallel lives

Just like that, life happens

Another one is your wife.
 But there are occasions
The present is put on pause
Just like that
The past is back on track
Neither bitter nor morose
Just a star in the cosmos.
In love there is no timing
It is a plan of no free will
A moment never-ending
We shared nothing but the truth
We came to love each other
Like we were destined
To shortly change one another.
Today I am just relieved
To know that I also meant
Something to you
That at one point in time
I was also everything to you.
It is only after
Once the story is over
That you figure out
All absolute things
Anything in life at all
Has its reasons
Because it takes only a second
Just like that, that life happens
And the gratitude
That it even happened at all.

Aim to please

The key moment in any relationship is when you stop being the best version of yourself; and start being yourself.

The could have been

Today I walked past the house

The one of my dreams

The one that could have been ours.

It was always my first choice

But fate decided otherwise

Just another dream I had to toss.

Now other people are living there

Here goggling from across the street

I caught sight of their love and chairs.

They have made it their own

Coming back to it each night

The beautiful house they now call home.

I came to realize that I mourned

How hard it is to let go 

Of something that was never yours.

Although in my heart of hearts

I once wished to call you mine

All I am always left with is hurt. 

Today I walked past the house

The only one I dream of

The one that could have been ours.

In another lifetime perhaps

What belongs to me shall find me

And destiny will not have set any traps.

Hors saison

Autumn has a way
Of slowly creeping in
Though summer days
Are far from being over.
There is that turning point
Wearing a jacket off season
Cozying up around the fire
When the sky becomes so low.
Seasons are already changing
Not ever having set a date
It is a dawdling process
But no one wishes to notice.
               What a strange sensation

Like opening a door

That was never really closed

The beginning of something
That should not have even started again.